When Life is Not Fair

Life Is Not Fair
by Gail Buesnel on Saturday, August 7, 2010 at 3:46am


Overcoming A Really, Horrible, Terrible, Rotten Day Formula

Gail Buesnel



The canoe rock ‘n rolled. Pocketed cell phone dove into the river. She buys another phone. First phone sits sullenly in bag of rice for 2 days then decides to work. She puts it away. She will not pay for a new data package. She loses the 2nd phone three days later. She reactivates the original cell phone paying for a data package. She’s driving, cell phone rings, daughter is crying so she talks on cell, oblivious to the stop sign. Cop gives her a ticket. “God bless you too officer”. She should have left the phone in the river....



This became my friend’s really, horrible, terrible, rotten day. She is a single mom. A nurse, she cares for kids, hers and others 24 x 7. Protecting her hard earned money she got zinged for a new data package, a new phone and a moving violation. She handled it beautifully but it is not a given we all would.



What to do when life is not fair?



First thing, reality check. Review details: How did the 1st phone escape? (Accidents happen!) Who lost the 2nd phone? Who answered the phone while driving? Who missed the stop sign? The answers take the paranoia out of it and the “everything I do goes wrong…I cannot win” aspect.



Second: How important is this anyway? In 5 years will I remember this? Okay so if I do, will I remember it this way?



Third: Look forward - what do I need to do today? Pray and praise, distract - Walk dog, exercise, coffee or a retail therapy with daughter or a friend might work. Strap cell to body or leave in the purse.



Four: Can I learn anything from this? Keep it simple.



Relatives arrive from out of state. Flowers need to be re-ordered, a drought or a heat wave somewhere wiped out the order. Photographer demands to take pictures where the preacher says they cannot be taken. Father-of-the-bride is given one task. Get a haircut. He drives by a sign “Haircuts Wednesday $5.00”. It’s Wednesday before the Saturday wedding. How fortuitous! It’s a tattoo parlor, it’ll work. Short back and sides. It’s the first buzz cut he has ever had. He will not argue with the tattoo parlor barber. That dude has piercings and tatts and huge hands attached to huge arms. But the reception he receives at home, skull showing, makes him wish he had tackled that dude to the floor and wrestled the shears gone.



Using the really, horrible, terrible, rotten day formula:



Review details: Who chose the barber?



How important is this anyway? Yes pictures last forever but they won’t bring the reaction in 5 years that they do today. Tread carefully this can be a sand trap of “you always minimize what effects me”.



What do I need to do today? Refocus, hey you took the focus off the photographer!



What’s the lesson? Even good people, doing really good things with good intentions can still have really, horrible, terrible, rotten days. Even those blessed by the Lord lose things and get a bad haircut. Try the formula next time you have an unexpected challenge. Victory is going through the fire and coming out without even the smell of smoke on your clothing.

PS Avoiding it, sulking, throwing phones or blaming others is not victory.